Psalm One The Death Of Frequent Flyer Rar Files
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Oct 29, 2006. My favorite track got to be 'South Bronx Subway Rap' by the one and only Grandmaster Caz, another download or die album! I had to separate the file in two because rapidshare wasn't allowing me up files with more than 100mb, sorry about that. PSALM One (2006) The Death Of Frequent Flyer. - Basic Number Screening Test Manual For Tests - Psalm One The Death Of Frequent Flyer Rar Files - Elements Of Airplane Performance Pdf To Word - Google Earth Earthquake Plugin For After Effects - Octane Render X64.
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About Google Book Search Google's mission is to organize the world's information and to make it universally accessible and useful. Google Book Search helps readers discover the world's books while helping authors and publishers reach new audiences. You can search through the full text of this book on the web at http: //books. Com/ >$K m 'S FRIENDLY. Y^ dA '''i i ' i'ping in the Club, to see her tripping Through the farmyard, singing softly some refrain. While tl^ purring Tom, resplendent in a ribbon, trots attendant, TaH erected, at the heels of pretty Jans.
And the pigeons leave the gables and the thatch upon the stables. Where they love to circle round the creaking vane, Till the foremost, growing bolder, will alight upon her shoulder, Gomng gently as he nestles up to Jans. And the hens come hurry-scurry, with their foolish noisy flurry. Like a lot of women running for a tarain^ While the bantam, crowing loudly, flaps his little pinions proudly As he struts along in front of pretty Jans. And the clumsy ducks oome waddling from the pool where they 've been paddling 'Mid the water-weeds, and eagerly they crane. As they troop in order single up the shelving bank of shingle, When they hear the silver voice of pretty Jans. So she moves about her duties like a queen of rustic beauties, Till the ypungsters^ one would think, were all insane.
For they take to writing sonnets to the lavender sun-bonnets, And tne eyebrows, and the lips of pretty Jans. And the Majors homeward toddle with their gouty little waddle. Fondly dreaming they are young too once again. And they wish it hsA been given them to find the way to heaven. For they 're sadly loth to part from pretty Jans.
After a Bun with the duom. (In the Train,) Ftrst Cavalier. Never chop your fox! Second Cavalier. And my motto ii, never stake your horse 1, Facetioui BagmcM (in comer of carriage).
Belong to the Anti- Qrill-room League^ I suppose, gentlemen 1 lAwful eilenee for rest of ioumey to Leicester. A Marine Widower. [Old Harry and hia Wife were two natural ohalkpillara atanding in the aea near Swanage. The recent galea have swept the Wife away.] PooB Old Harry!
At last of your wife bereft, Poor Old Harry I for long you were one thoueh twain, Poor Old Harrv 1 we 're thankful that you are left, But poor Old HMTy 1 you never can marry agam 1 Sabtobial. — ^The frock coat is said to be doomed, beoanse the ladies have taken up cutaway jackets, must follow suit.
Probably The men Digitized by LnOO^ I e PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAMVAEI. [Jaitoabt 2, 1897. THE SELFISHNESS OF MAN. ** Awfully borrt all the Iobs are done— could only GET ONE FOR MYSELF. WiLL YOU HAVE A MaOAROON AND SOME OiNOER-POP? ' ROUNDABOUT KEADINGS. (LeUersfrom Mr.
To his Nephew at Cambridge, and to Others.) No. V.— Advice as to Choice of Books. Mt DBAB Jack,— I wonder if you still possess the £10 pre- sented to you by your aunt for the purchase of books.
Heaven forbid that I should make any imputations on your perfect moral rectitude; but I know that the young9ters of my own day entertained a dislike amounting almost to loathing for what I may term the conservation ot money. No flight of swallows speeding Southward ever went more swiftlv than did the ^- lings, the half-crown, and the sovereigns of tnose cheerful under- graduates. They scattered a bimetallio shower with generous hands over the town of Cambridge and its mrrounding districts, and for a time lived at the rate of £10.000 on an allowance of not more thaii £300.
A gift of £10 for books would have been re- ceived with delight, but while the question of how to stock a library was still debating, I warrant the £10 would have fled away into the Evngkeit of Hans Brbitmann'b party. Then in a burst of remorse the books would have been purchased, and the unpaid bill for them would doubtless have been included in the pctfoel eventually submitted to a stem father for payment at the end of our young friend's University career. That sounds horribly dishooMt, and so, indeed, it is, if you consider it with a proper strictness.
But this youthful thoughtlessness never considered anything; with strictness, and the result was the misery to which Mr. Mteauher was so frequent and so gloomy a victim. But the lesson learnt waa not without its value, and I am bound to add that nearly all the gay young s^iuanderers with whom I have kept in touch nave settled down into the most complete financial rectitude and the most perfect general respectability after their bitter experience of pecuniary disaster at tne University. Manv of them, as I know, thread the mazes of commerce with skill, and battle, non sine gloria, on the Stock Exchange and in banks; nor does anyone venture to oast a slur upon tneir fair fame or their meroantile credit. This is not to say that you are to be a ■quanderer. Bead Pendennis, and say if you are anxious to go through Pen's bitter experience. Of what avail to him was his reputation as a wit and a giver of dinners, how did it profit him that he was magnificent^ arrayed in clothes of beautiful cut, that his person sparkled with jewels when the duns were hainmering at nis oak, and the ruthless plough of the examiners had passed over him P No; keep away rrom extravaimnoe; live decently and moderately, enjoy your nappy youth and try to be both modest and manly, not merely in your general bearing, but mo re particularly in the control of your finances.
This aavice is probiEtbly useless to you, for I understand that the young men of the present day are careful and methodical, that they keep regular accounts, and live strictly within their incomes. This information, to the strict accuracy of which I do not pledge myself, came to me from a maternal source, in point of fact from Mrs. Hornblowbr, whose two sons are, I am told, modela of propriety and regulated behaviour in the sister University of Oxford.
You know these two young men. Pray, pray re- lieve my mind by assuring me that the Adolphub H!obnblowbb who quite lately lit a bonfire in his College quadrangle, and after* wards painted a don's door vermilion (I neard of the escapade by the merest chance) was not one of these patterns of the cardinal virtues? And now to be brief with you as to these books. Buy, in the first place, books that deal with noble actions. Napier's history of the wai '^SMAET AND UP-TO-DATE/' Oh, shibboleth new, the sensational crew Are mouthing ad natiseum daily. You sicken the soull When the gutter- imp ghoul Li crime's nasty details grubs gaily. When sickening news from the slums and the stews Reporters cheap relate.
They 're sure to daim the equivocal fame Or ** smart and up-to-date.' The cvnic clap-trap, the '* smart' rag- Daggish scrap, Tit-bits to tlie tnvial taste, *' Block-ornament ' bits from degenerate 'wits,' The cag-mae of art-imps unchaste; Gehenna's fom gleanings, impure double meanings. That tickle the prurient pate, All these, be sure, set forth the lure. Of ' smart and up-to-date.' 'Ullo, Jim, look *brb1 'Ere's a noo Stachoo! Lend us yer Knipe!'
The unsexed dame who knoweth not shame. Who writes, or rides, or dresses Li fashions the oddest, ungraceful, im- modest, And so to mode's front proudly presses, On bikes, in books, with mannish looks, From grace 'emancipate,' Will pose, right proud, before the crowd As pose, right proud, before 1 I ' smart and up-to-date.'
Oh, oentuiy-end, may you come as a friend, A '^ finrde-siide' in truth! May we make a new start. May the shib- boleth 'smart' Be taboo to pure maiden and youth. For the cynical grin at sly toying with sin, Ghoul-eoul and apish pate, Are as stupid as vile, though they've swaggered awhile As ' smart and up-to-date ' I At Church on Chriatmas Morning. Startled Sidesman (with eoUeetion plate, to Mr, Orindstone, who has just whispered to him).
Orindstone (still whispering). Kindly give me change for a shilling. You can pretend it 's a sovereign 1 ISidesman most justifiably pouu on. Miss and Mistletoe. {A damsel rebukes a clumsy dcmoer^ who has neglected an opportunity.) I WOULD not say a word, you know, To cause you any painful throes, But just beneath the mistletoe You trampled on my misled toes I Guard (to inebriated travetter, at junc- tion).
All change, please. Traveller (with dignity).
TPtq ken, mon, that I 've got a return ticket r Digitized by i^oogle PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAHL [January 2, 1897. 'Ah, littlb Woman, ars you rkadyI Wbll, now, I want you and Nubss to go down to the Station to ordrr bomb CJoals.' 'Hayx wx to bwino thbm. 'Oh dear no, darling t Thiy *ll bend thbm in a Cart.' 'Oh, won't that be jolly 1 May wb wide back jn it, Mummy?' -^ A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Punch to young Master Ninety-Seven. A Happy New Year! Well, you ought to be bappy. As sixtieth one of a glorious reign 1 A chorus of cheers greets your advent, young chapfne, And not all for you, boi^, so do not be vain.
The Laureate, Alfmsd, his lyre may be thrumming To out-Dryden Dbydxn in eloquent gush. Concerning the annus mirabiHs coining. And great recollections do come with a rush 1 Far stronger and sweeter than music and metre Gan wholly do iustice to, memories flock From six crowded decades. Time's footsteps seem fleeter Than then in the thirties; more rapidly knock Time's brood at our doorway. Yet, youns Ninety-Seven, We welcome you gaily and banish poor fear; And wish all the world, by the blessing of Heaven, A Happy New Year 1 The Queen 1 Qod bless her I She 's worthy possessor Of Time's, as of so many records beside: And when, since the days of the gentle Confessor Whose memory Westminster treasures with pride. Had England a monarch so stainless and stately. So patriot-pious and selflessly pure P Young Year, your good luck you may chortle o'er greatly, Yoiir fame m your sire's lengthy list is secure.
And what a long story of progress and glory You 're heir to, younjg; Hopeful 1 Tlie century's end Is dose on your neels, for our Age is grown hoary; But you will not soon be forgotten, young friend 1 And so, though you come at a critical season. With decadence rife, a new century near. We meet you, we greet you, and not without reason, A Happy New Year I You 've plenty to tackle 1 There 's optimist cackle. And pessimist croaking to hear and to judge: The welding of patriot bonds that won't shackle. Divesting imperial spirit of— fudge; Make^ friends transatlantic without sham or aatio; Maintain that old Concert, yet not play Dead-March To simple humanity; neither run frantic With gush, nor soul-stiffen with diplomat starch; Preserve our old sea-sway, and keep me flag flying. Without stint of money, or swaggersome waste; With everyone friendlv, on no one relying.
The empire up-build without rest, without haste; Bind all Imglish-speakers in cordial conmiunion 1 YiOTORiA^ Sixtieth then shall appear To all who love En^dand, and Honour, and Union, r^ Happy New Year!!! RAILWAY LIB-ABILITY. Pumgh, — I am always fond of a joke, and can hear its repetition, sav, a score of times, but I am getting very weary of that good ola jest which meets the eye of the traveller at every railway station.
It runs: — ' Any seryant of the company acceptiiiig a Gratuity it habU to inttant ditmitsal,*^ Now for a great many years the direotors, the guards, the porters, and the wayfarers of the United Kingdom must have enjoyed this jeii de motSf but, like the sandwiches at most re- freshment rooms, it paUs upon the appetite. Personally I re- joice in infringing this bye-law, and I have never found 'any servant oi the company ' who didnt heartily join issue with me in my ill-doing. The liability is so limited, moreover, that I '11 venture to say there isn't a ticket-collector who wouldn't gladly take preference shares in the National Great Public TippiiUE Company.
But why make buffoons of those ever-willing, nard- workmg, and, with very few exceptions, always courteous men, the njSi and file of the Itailway Army P Now, Gentlemen of the Railway Interest, this is where your common sense about com- mon pence ought to come in 1 At least in the opinion of your humble admirer, Nioodsicub thb PsBiPATKno. Oaxeeook Chambers, W, ICOTTO FOB OYOLISTS. 'How many perils do environ The man who meddles with cold iron.' Not YiT OmcxALLY RiooaNisBD by thb Pobti.— Hie Vals of Orete to Toricey. Digitized by i^oogle PUNCH, OB THB LONDON CHARIVARL— January 2, 1897. THE QUEEN'S YEAR!
Digitized by ^oogie Digitized by Google Jakvart 2, 1897.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. ['* A great grand-daughter of Fibldimq's has revised Torn Johm for home peruaaL'— 2>af^ Fap^.' ] Ir TH« DttOSNDANTS OF OTHSK LaST-OkNTUBT NoVBLISTS SHOW THE SAMS 1NTBKPKI8X, WE SHALL HAVE NUBSBBY SOENES AS ABOVl OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. Glbmbnt Shobtib'b Charlotte Bronti and her t/trcte, published by Messrs. Hoddeb and Stouohton. Now to?^nte a lengthy biography of some oelebrity in sereral yolumes IS a laboiious work tor the oompiler, and likelv to proTe a tedious stady for the reader. Bnt here in this book wiU be found ' a better and a Shorter way.'
Clement Shobtbb shows himself a man of letters and notes, as he limits himself to a col- lection of epistolary correspondence (Chablotte having been a very Micawoer in this respect), and provides us with his annota- tions and connecting links as side-lights. An odd sort of indi- vidual was Chablotte, as is evidenced oy her occasionally eccentric conduct, and by her opinions, as a spinster, on love and marriage given freely at p. 805, which the Baron advises the reader to com- pare with her sentiments on the same subjects when subsequently writing as a married woman at pp. That she most highly appreciated Thaokerat is greatly to her credit, but that she entertained onl^ a qualified admiration for Diokenb shows her deficient in a certain kmd of humour. Of the works of such hu- morists as Hood, Hook, the Smiths, Babham, and others, she seems to have known little or nothing. Tom Mood would have said that in refusing an offer of marriage from the Rev.
Henrt Nussbt. Chablotte Bbonte might have easily informed him that ' thougn she would be delighted to live in a rectory, yet she could not regard with equal pleasure the prospect of taking charge of a Nussey-rpr.'
She confided her offers and what she tibousht of them to her friends; and very unsentimental, nay, almost neart- less are her confidential communications on such subjects. Tet when she was twenty-five she played the one practical joke of her life which was, as she recounts it, that, being a Protestant, and residing in Brussels, she went one evemn^ to the Church ot Saint Oudule. And there ' an odd whim came into my heed,' she writes, and sne entered a confessional and went to confession, just ' to see what it was like.'
However, she was soon detected, and as. 'somehow,' she writes, '* I could not tell a lie,' she owned herself a Protestcuit.
Then she adds, '^I actually did confess — a real confession.' ** I think,' she concludes^ '* you had better not tell Fkpa of this. He will not understand it was only a prank.' The above is a strange episode in the life of a decidedly serious young woman of twenty-five, in whom there was no gush, as ia evidenced in her letter (p. 174) on the death of her sister Emilt. The account of Thaokebay escaping from his own literary dinner- party (p.
422) is delightful. Shobteb has admirably e] cuted his self-imposed task, but, excellent as is the index of t Bbonte Chronology, the absence of dates in the margin, and ' insets ' as side-headings, will bo f^t by all who wish to use t volume as a book of handy and ready reference. The Baron trusts that in the course of time we sh have a book on Lord Leiohton, and one on Sir John Millj as perfectly ^ot up as is the splendid work in a single large volu] entitled MetMoni^r, his Life and his Art, written by '.
Gbbabd, de VAcadSmie Fran^ise, Vice-Becti de VAcadSmie de Paris, and published by William Hknemak of London. The style of the biographer is as charming as it easy and lucid, and from first to last the matter is made perse ally interesting. The reproductions of Mbissonieb's pamtinj sketches, and scraps must delight all his admirers, and will o tainly add to this legion a multitude that have never had t good fortune to see the originals of even his best-known high finished pictures. Babon de B.-W.
Some Notes fob Oittt^ines of English Hibtobt. — ^In the six century England was a strictly mathematical country, and inhabitants were called ' Angles.'
They were divided into clei or *' Acute Angles,' natives were called ' Bij and dense or 'Obtuse Andes.' Horn t Angles.'
That they ^ten lived tc good old age mav be deduced from the frequent mention of ** j Angle of mnety-nve.' It goes without Sating. — ^The Russian Government deni that it is about to establish a colony on the Red Sea. Of coui the Black C.
(of the Press) would not stand any opposition fn something likely to be read. Omt Shakspeabian Societt. — ^bi the course of a discussic Mrs. Observed, that she was positive that Shaksfeabe h a butcher by trade, oecause an old uncle of hers had boug Lambs* Tails from Shakspeare.
Reallt Genbboub. — ^At Christmas time and on New Yea Day, a billiard mariner, who would not like his name made publ preferring to 'do good deeds by stealth,' invariably tips nis cues. Hamlet to A LiNBB in Dock.—*' List I List I Oh don't list.' Digitized by LnOOQ IC 10 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL [January 2, 1897. First CiMne{ii propoi of motor-can), 'Aftbb all this 'krs rusa a-oxttin' rid o' ths OhAP AB 'WENT IN FBONT WITH A FlAO TOO—BAH/ WoT THBY WANT U A OOVE TO 00 BM'ur^ 'em, an' pick vr the bits 1 ' V0TOHT8 ASD CROSSES. (A Review,) Onb pipe, peiliAps one whisky, Then hed— it's after two — By JoTO.
A pipe 's a comfort, Now for a ^ hird's-eye ' view I One glanoe— ah 1 here 's the programme. Wont time I ever had.
Bad partners, har those crosses — The whole afiFair was had. Four crosses 1 I was leaning. In hu3t, against the wall Those dances, hut in fancy With yon I danced them all— With yon, who, all unconscions Were dancing in to-day With some confounded f eUow A hundred miles away. But now some doubting demon Is whisperine in my ear That ' nought^' to ' cross ' must answer- Hie game is so, I fear. I fear to-night those symbols May represent our thought. My thought of you — these crosses.
The thought you Ve given me — ^noug^t 1 Thb Nxw and Fashionablb Complaint. — ^A motor-cardiac affection. AUGUSTE EN ANGLETERKE. Notes sub l'Almanaoh.
Dear Mibceb, — ^After to have passed seToral months in Eng- land, I comprehend to the foundation the manners and the habi- tudes of that oountrv there, as a tourist, or ' clobetroter ' who has passed some weeks in China, or as a Member of the Parlia- ment who has visited the Oriental Indias during the yaoations of the House of the Commons. All the two would write their impressions of Toyage. In doing of same me I have prepared these notes on the ahnanaok. Ana I expedite them to you at the fine of december, when all tne world thinks to the almanack of the new year. Agree, &c., Auqubte.
January.— The Day of the Year. I wish to you, MisUr Funch, the good year I After that I find not that there is much who arrives during the month of January. I consult alldays the Almanack of Whitakbb for 1896, and in January I find but some errors. It is verv curious.
Mister Whitakbr says that the six is the twelfth dav. How thatP It is perhaps a fault of imprimary. Then he says 'Charles the First be- headed C. Bradlauoh,' with the date.
How that P Then he says, ^H. Stanlet, M.P. There is longtime that he is deputy.
And at above, 'H. I have never heard to say that Mister Stanley was Emperor of India.
There is invariably some letten ' d ' or ' b ' mixed with the names. Excepted these little errors, the Almanack is ex- cellent. Fbbruart.— The fourteen is the feast of St.
Valentine, the day where the men in England send to their ' Bweetl)earts ' some droUs of little madrigus and of other poetrys, printed on paper adorned of little pictures of hearts, of flowers, and of cupidons. It is a custom very ancient. There is at present a functionary, called the '^ Poet-Laureate,' a certain Mister Austin, without cease occupied to write the poetrys for the 'valentines.' He has a pretty talent for that. The sittings of the Parliament commence ordinaiilv.
It is all regulated for the sport. When the chase to the fox, the chase to the partridges, and the chase to the pheasants are almost finished, tbe deputies have enough of leisure for to discuss the laws. About this time here, according to the date of Easter, there is the mardi Qrast the tuesdav of shrove, when all the English eat the cakes of Pan, usage of wnich one ignores the origin. He has the air of to date from the time of the ancient Greece. — ^During this month here ordinarily there has place the great race of boats from Cambridg to Gbiord. It is very renowned in the sport. The equipage, Viquxpage^ Mrko gains receives a blue ribbon, called ' the blue ribbon of the turf.'
In England a blue ribbon indicates a man who loves the water. Many hundreds of sportmen go of good hour to the Thames, and attend patiently at Uie boraer on the mud for to see to pass the boats. This is enfvui/ant, and therefore an:^hinR which is also annoying is called ^ tne blues.' At the occaaon or this race, aa testimony of i^ympathy with the two equipages, all the ladies of the collcjse of Oxford and of the coUegid of Cambridg are dressed entirely in blue, so entirely that they are called ' blue stockings.'
— ^The first, in France, one gives sometimes the one to the other a fish of i^ril. In England the other becomes a fool of april. The Scottish writer Carltle, said Uiat the most part of tne English are some fo^ j.jf% Mother. 'Tommy, what on earth is Baby crying tor?' *' He 's angry with me, Mamma, because I was trying to make him smile WITH your Glove-stretcher.' ' MADE IN GERMANY.'
HowsoBVBB British Trade Be affected by the Teuton, Some things there are surely made It were prudent to be mute on. Rarings of the reptile Press^ Speeches by a shouting Kaiser, Meet with such a small success That to drop them would be wiser. But the Teutons of one trade Seem monopolists outspoken; 'Tis of tricky treaties, made (Like old pie crusts) to he broken! (Countersigned by O. Von Bismarck, Or most puunly bearing his mark I) ' Dbmandb Joyeusb.'
— Supposes que vous soyeK k Londres, et que vous aper- oeviez des souris courant sur les genouz d'un de vos amis, quel est le nom d'un fameux peintre fran^ais que rappellerait cette drconstance? *' Mice on knee, eh P '^ [We are informed that our poor dear friend means t the military profession — presum- ably with the view of preserving the honour of the Britisn flag — what steps are necessary to carry out your patriotic motive? It is requisite that I shomd pass the qualifying ex- aminations. And how do you propose bringing this rather ambitious scheme to a successful issue P ^.
By obtaining a sufficient number of marks. Q, Certainly.
And how are these to be secured? A, By spending neariy every hour of five years of my life in the class-rooms of a professional crammer. Q, But will not this entail considerable expense?
Very considerable; but as it will be borne by my parents that is a matter that has for me no personal concern. Q, Will not vour parents regard the coach's bills as a pecuni- arj7 substitute for the old-fashioned system of purchasing a com- mission? A, Most probably; and if my progenitors are good at figures they will not improbably consider the sum sunk in tuition as money lost, rather than as cash invested, to be returned on my retirement from soldiering. Q, Then cramming serves as a bar to a call to arms as effectu- ally as purchase P A, So it may be said. But again, that is an affair that has no claim upon my individual attention.
Q, Leaving the question of cost out of the calculation, will not you have to take up a number of subjects that never oc- curred to the First Duke of Wellington P A, Undoubtedly; but then his deceased grace had strange ideas anent the officering of the Army. He is credited with having once declared that Wateiloo wsa won on the Piaying- Fields at Eton. Adopting his opinions for a moment, what do you know of athletic sports P A, Next to nothing, as all my knowledge has been derived from hearsay evidence, Q, Could you captain a cricket eleven or a football team P A. Certainly not; and it would be absurd to learn anything about the oocupation, as the subject is not one recognised by the examiners. Q, Could you manoouvre an army in the field P A, Not unless I found myself in a position to do so from a forced acquaintance with hydrostatics, geometrical drawing, and other knowledge of a kindi^ character. Q, Then you will sacrifice physical fitness to mental progress P A, I have no choice.
I must employ my time in learning the subjects required by the examiners. Q, But n this be so, how can you keep up the glory of England P A. By following in the steps of my predecessors. Q, But those steps appear to have been in a different direc- tion. Can you not find a better answer to the question P A, In the absence of physical training, I must trust to tlie fact that I am by birthright an Englishman. Q, Certainly. And as an EfiglJRhman what is your opinion on the subject generally P A, That Britannia rules the waves, and, in spite of the re- strictions of tJie examinations, Britons will never, never, never be slaves.
Q, One question more. Is this last answer of yours logical P A, No, it 18 somethhig better— it is patriotic. NO 'CUELING' OF THE] UPPEE LIP. Punch, — An Army Circular has just been issued, by which officers of Her Majesty's Land Forces are reminded that according to Section VU., Par. Varian Star Chromatography Workstation Manual High School. 25, of the Queen's Regu- lations: — ' Moustaches are to be worn, and the chin and under lip are to be shaved (except by pioneers, who will wear beards).
Whiskers, when worn, are to be of moderate length.' I know, Sir, that the above notice refers to the fact that many young military men have recently taken to shaving the upper lip. But, indeed, the custom has prevailed mainly in sdf de- fence. Let me cite my own case. I had tried for at least eighteen months to promote the moustaches, so imperatively de- manded by our Soverei^.
The compounds with which I have anointed my upper labial have been expensive, irritating, un- seemly, and, alas I useless. I am a congenital Jacob, and if even appointed a pioneer could not raise the necessary bird's nest.
As to whiskers, I have often wondered, when looking at pictures of the late lamented Lord Dundbkaby, whence he derived them. As a last endeavour to conform with the Queen's commands^ I have, under professional advice, severely scraped my face thnoe a day, and under the same professional advice I have arrived at the conclusion that possibly eighteen distinct hirsute tributes to Her Majesty's regulations — a t£in red line indeed — might sur- mount my teeth. Do you think that Our August Ruler and Lord WoLSBLET will be satisfied with this show of zeal P Are the Duke of Cambbidgb's whiskers up to regulation form p Must 1 abandon my profession P Yours in despair, RuFus Lbonidas Nifohin, Lieutenant. (Name of regiment indecipherable.) [We recommend our Correspondent to keep his hair on, if he can. — ^Eo.] The Ear and the Voice on the Tranava^l.
[President KrOobr does not believe in idle reports, and Mr. Cbcil Rhodes does not speak out for the sake of others.] A ' Dumb Cbambo ' duet mid South African fears,.
By two powerful men has but lately been sung. ' makes a point of fast shutting his ears, And Rhodesian Cboil of holding his tongue. After a Trip to London. Weel, Sandy, an' boo did ye pass the time in Lunnon P Sandy.
Richt brawly, mon. An' forbve, when I 'd chppit a stove pipe on my head and put on a frockit coat, 'deed, AjumiBy if there was a Southron but didna' take me for a Cockney bom and bred I Digitized by LnOOQ IC January 9, 1897.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL 17 EOUNDABOUT HEADINGS. {Letters from Mr. B, to his Nq^hew at Cattibridge, and to Others,) No. VI.— Of Lbttsrs — Of Youthful Humour and Gaiety— Of Stylb and its Stitdy— Of Charles Lamb, Hazlitt, and Charles Reads. My dbab Jack, — ^Your letter demands a reply. You say (I quote textually) 'I have bought Napier's Peninsula and old Mahbot, and I Ve tackled Marbot because he 's shorter.
It 's simply ripping. I never read such good fiehting in my life. That bit where his mare tore a Russian's face bang off and pulled an officer to bits is grand. If old Marbot has written an^thine else I wish you 'd let me know, aa I shall certainly buy it.'
I commend your honest enthusiasm, my dear Jack, and I don't carp at the simple style in which you express it. 'Rippins' is an emphatic word that in its way is probably as good as ** amvd' and ** stunning.'
And other wordb affected by a former generation of youths for the expression bi Desert. Second E, A, Call yours a go-bye election, ehP First E, A. And yours a case m Charing Cross occupying just over two hours. We agreed to sup aner the play. On arriving at the theatre we both experienced a dull, dead depression of the brain, and neither of us can even now tell what was the name of the piece, or what it was all about. How we get back to the Grand through the murky gloom I know not. Our symptoms can only be described as those of semi- stupidity, and the hotel porter, who helped us into bed, was clearly of opinion that we had had too much chloral, tor he begged us to be careful with the matches, v^e slept dead-do2 sleeps, unconscious of everything, ana woke late the next morn- ing, incapable of eating breakfast.
There was a kind of buzzing m my head, with a nauseating desire to avoid food. We re- solved to return to the country at once. Somehow we reached Waterloo station, and were rolled like milk cans into the train. What happened durinc the jour- ney neither of us knows, but luckily the guard was an old friend, and pulled us out at the right station.
Still the same stupor oppressed us, and when we got home the manservant and the gardener had to carry us upstairs. Next day I awoke, feeling no better, and discovered that I had retired to rest in my hat, placed my boots under the pillow, hung my trousers out of the window, and put my watch and chain in the water-jug. On crawling to my friend's room, I found that he was nowhere visible, and his coudi had not been slept upon. Seriously alarmed, I was about to pull the bell for assistance, when I heard stertorous noises proceeding from the wardrobe, one of the roomy old-fashioned kind. My poor friend was doubled up in it, feebly cafiing 'steward.'
I summoned assistance, and SUGGESTION FOR NEW GOINAGL View of St. Oeorge on Motor-car and the Dragon, had him, despite my own wretched pli^t, carefully tucked up in bed. We slept for fifty-three hours, with intervals for the consumption of soda water. This evening I am rather better, but it has taken me all day to write this letter. The swollen feeling of our heads is decreas- ing, but the burning pain of the eye- balls, the shaking of our hands, and the parched condition of our tongues, re- main. What has happened to usP Will any scientist explain r The moral is, in any case, avoid London fogs.
There can be no doubt that they contain a brumous poison of hypnotic power. Will chemists analyse it P If so, our sufferings will not have been useless, since humanity will profit by them. [We gladly print the above remarkable expe- riences, out are disposed to believe, from internal evidence, that it was intended for a largely cir- culated daily contemporary. — Ed.] At the Sweedletopahire County Ball. Lady Patroness (to Mr* MaeNi/ico (of MacNifico)y who sitsy like Eugene Aram, 'opart from aU, a melancholy man*^).
Now, I positively must introduce you to someone I Mr, MaeN, (crushingly). But there is positively nobody in the room I [Helires, and spends the rest of the night in despatchitig five-shilling New Year's Cards to Members of the Aristocracy, What thb Lovbbs of Ecolssiastical Archxtecturb long fob in connection WITH PbTBRBOROUGH CATHEDRAL. — Ihe end of the Chapter. Digitized by LnOOQ IC Januaby 9, 1897.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
23 AUDDIH AT THE LANE; OR, NEW UMP8 FOR OLD ONES. Brilliant and artiatic in costumea and kaleidoacopio effects of colour, tuneful in song (you hear a sood deal of the Barrett- tone in iit), graceful in dance, full of '^go ' as Ions aa Miss Ada Blanche is on the stage, and arousing tne crowded house to in- extinguishable laughter whenever that most eccentric comedian Mr. Dan Lbno is very much ^*m eyidence,' supported by the buriy-esque actor, Mr. He&bb&t Campbell, who may be con- sidered as representing the breadth of the piece, and by tall Mr.
Fritz Rimma representing the length, the Pantomime at Old Drury has entered on a succeesful career. Its concoctors. Stubobss and Lbnnard, practised hands at this sort of work, can now afford to cut out and compress; and they would not have had to do this had they gone straight away with the old familiar stor^, and had they 'come to Hecuba ' in four scenes instead of m seven. It ia a tribute to the arrangement and general supervision of Mr. Osoab Babrbtt to Dan Drury Leno as The Second Mrs. «iy that, from first to last, Aladdin is very 'funny without bem^' m the least 'vulgar.'
Thank goodness there ia no ' topical song '; while of 'hits of the day ' there are but few, and even these could be spared. Trop de luxe in the costumes. Why run into the extrava- gance of three grand transformation scenes, when one would be ample? Why divide the pantomime in two parts, when the whole house would be content if, commencing (as it does now) at 7.30.
It finished, harlequinade and all, by just five minutes to eleven r Miss Ada Blanohb, prince of burlesque princes, is admirable aa AlcLddiriy working with a will that woula keep going even a less successful extravaganza. Dkoima Moorb is a sweet Badroulboudour. Miss Clara Jboks is full of vivacity aa a little Chinese maid; Miss Pillans is a stylish Frince Pekoe, and Mr.
Ernbst D'Auban shows himself worthy of the family name by his capital impersonation of the small part of the dancing-master. Dan Lbno as Widow Twankay is inimitable 1 Whether he smirks, or stares, or smiles, or rrowns, or bows, or curtseys, or litumbles, or runs, or dances, or attempts to sing, or has a dialogue with Herbert Campbell, or is thoroughlv happy or thoroughly upset, it doesn't matter what he does, tne house is at once in roars of laughter. The audience cannot have enough of him, and he never overdoes anything. Mephisto Campbell and Blanche k &** Show.' This version of Aladdin^ ' partly founded on the scenario of the late Sir Augxtstus Harris,' as written by Messrs. Stubobss and Lbnnard, with Mr. Osoar Barrett's music and management, mav be described as a scMnething much more than a ' Sturgess and liermATdrcum-Barrett-ive success,' since, judging from its reception by a denaely crowded house on the nfth mght of its existence, which was its ninth representation, it seems likely in every way to rival the most popular of its popular prede- cessors.
May the New Lamps at Drury Lane bum as brilliantly aa did the Old ones. So mote it be!
The Jolly Monarch of the Spree. {Re/rain of Song heard recently by a Correspondent at Berlin,) ' And this is the moral of my song, which must, and always, be: I care for Nobodt, no not 1 1 if Nobodt cares for me I ' How DID HE GET THERB? — A correspondent of the Daily Tele- graph^ referring to Ventnor, says, 'Here is a town on English soil wnere the laireat northern winter sunshine may be enjoyed loithout crossing the seas' Has the long-talked-of tunnel be- tween the mainland and the Isle of Wight been constructed P or has one of the legendary submarine passages been discovered P or have Spithead and the Solent dned upP The writer should really give his reasons for his startling statement. Literary Intbllioenoe.
— It is announced that 'Sir Robbrt Peel's novel, A Bit of a Fool, will be published early in Janu- ary.' We understana that the work is not autobiographical in character. He Mxtst Travel Across Something. — ^The Olohe states that Mr.
Stanley left Dover for Calais on December 29. Cabby calls the new auto-cars his motormentors. «^ooyie S* Digitized by 24 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [January 9, 1897. THE BEST OF ALL! Anxious Mother.
**Well, Bobby, and how did you bsuave at THE Party?' Bobby, 'Oh, Mummy, I didn't behave at all. I was quite GOOD! ' THE MOST LEARNED PROFESSION. {Some/urther Correspondence, See last toeeJc's ** Times,') Sis, — Ab all the campaigns in the future will he conducted entirely upon paper, I venture to suggest that the test provided for the efficiency of Army candidates hy the proposed Wool- wich entrance syllahus cannot be described as unduly severe. The sooner^ in fact, that the standard is raised by the introduc- tion of Obligatory Quantics and Dynamics of the Fourth Dimen- sion, the better for the service and for all concerned.
What, I ask, will be the use of our coming generals if. At the age of seventeen, they are unable to floor a five hours' paper in ele- mentary subjects such as these, which are so highly necessary for a military career? What will become of their Intelligence Department if each budding lieutenant has not, at an early stage, mastered by heart so rudimentary an acquirement as a knowledge of Chambers' 10,000 logarithms to seven places P I tremble to think of their certain breakdown in time of war, in grim and real earnest, if these important qualifications are neg- lected. Let the country awake to its responsibilities in time I I am, Sir, your obedient servant, A Professor of Higher Mathematics. Sir, — Class 11.
In the Syllabus for Army Candidates might, with advantage, be extended. Metallurgy, the art of ceramics, high-class undertaking, scientific dress-making, legerdemain, the theorv of top - dressin^r, dentistry, thought - reading, French cookery, plate-laying, the use of the tammy, and window- gardening shoula all be included in the education of our future warriors. You never know when an odd little piece of out-of- the-way knowledge may not be useful in dealing with the foe. Yours fatuously, White Knioht. Sir, — ^I trust, I sincerely trust that these Army entrance ex- aminations will be discontinued.
We are already becoming inconveniently crowded. Our officers had better be made in Germany. Yours, Hanwell. Sir, — It would be well to introduce the Chinese system here.
We want genuine literati in command of our battalions. Until archaeology and anthropology are taken up in a less half-hearted way.
Than at present, I fear our existing system of cramming can hardly be considered complete. What we want is the production of a corps of thoroughly nice and gentle- manly bookworms, well-vereed m the literature of war, to con- duct our theoretical military operations in the future.
Yours obediently. OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. The Colossus was content to bridge the harbour that opened on to lUiodes. In The Yoke of Empire (Macmillan), Mr. Reginald Brett strides across five Prime Ministers, and pats approvingly on the shoulder the Sovereign they have served.
Incidentally he remarks that a rival commentor on histo^, one Maoaulay, ' possessed a genius for commonplace.*' The Equator does not come in, or, with even more certainty than Sydney Smith attributed to Jeffrey, Mr. Brett would have spoken disrespectfully of it. As it is, he is occasionally above the rules or grammar, speaking, for example, of Mr.
Gladstone's ' relation to ' the Queen. What he related is not rei>orted. Minor authorities would probably have written of the ex-Premier's ' relations with ' Her Majesty. These little foibles apart, Mr. Brett deals with an interesting subiect in a brijsht, occasionally a picturesque, manner.
A fault in style, if mult may be hinted in such connection, is that, treating each chap- ter as if it were a platform speech, he rounds it off with a pero- ration — a breathlessly long sentence, such as only Mr. Gladstone might be counted upon to deliver without stumbling. The volume is enriched by half-a-dozen portraits, of themselves worth more than its price. Gladstone is, my Baronite says, the very best presented of him during the last ten years. With respect to Echoes from the Oxford Magazine, published some time ago, we are all of Oliver Twists mind, and want ' More.' Henry Frowde, ever ready to oblige, has issued a second series, under the title, More Echoes, They are, like the contents of the preceding volume, culled from the luxuriant garden of the Oxford Magazine, having come up between 1889 and 1896.
In a prologue, presumably written specially for this volume, ' Q,' an early contributor to the Oxford Magazine, shows what strength and perfect finish may be acquired as time flies and practice grows. A few of the colts are a little wild, presenting in their lightheartedness some amazing rhymes. Ex- ceedingly clever are Mr.
Merry's ' Afternoon Sermons at St. Mary's,'* and T.
S ' Meister Wilhehn in Oxford,' which has a fine smack of Canning's verse in the old Jacobin, As for Mr. GoDLEY, he is an acrobat, almost a contortionist in rhyme. He can, my Baronite protests, do anything he pleases with syllables, has even wriggled a passable rhyme out of the apparently im- possible Demosthenes.* * The Baron has not seen the book reviewed by his Baronite, but, inspired, he proposes an original couplet: ** I send vou a statue: regret it has lost the knees; 'Tis otherwise perfect.
They say 'tis Demosthbnbs.' Baron de B.-W. Bather Mixed.
The following is from The Irish Times on 'Landslips,' December 31. ' To feel the solid earUi rock beneath his feet, to have his natural foothold on the globe's surface swept, so to speak, out of his grasp, lb to the stoutest heart of man terrifjring in the extreme.' From our own irrepressible.
The name (A a long-ago celebrated fat French conjurer reminds one of a Christmas dish, the name of the conjurer? A, Plump-Houdin, naturally What is that dish, and what is Note by otjr own Gourmet on the Common Sense of Swine. — You may cast myriads of pearis before the porker of commerce, and he will treat them with disdain, but throw a single truffle in his way, and lo and behold I what a self-satisfied epicure does he become! This fable shows that pigs have more refined apprecia- tion of the good things of this world than many would-be fine ladies.
Lancelot Utudyina almanack). Mother, what's an Ember day? One which we have to endure, when your father's forgotten to order the coals as he did yesterday. Aphorism (by a female philosopher), — Blue Woman is often a sufferer )M (hy by BU ack Mail. Digitized by LnOOQ IC Januabt 16, 1897.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL 25 SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS. AN IMPALED BURT. Alderman Burt, of Richmond, Surrey, is, according to the Morning and other papers, endeavouring to spoil the view from the Terrace by advocating the substitution of an iron fence for the picturesaue holly and thorn hedge between the hill and the slopmg meaaow.
Richmond without its view would be like Hamlet nunus the Prince of Dknmark. This doubtless worthy and possibly eminent citizen should remember that ' it is an ill Burt which fouls its own nest.' But perhaps the alderman is like the proverbial cuckoo, and has laid his municipal egg on prenuses which scarcely concern him.
In any case, Mr. Punch recommends this particular Burt to respect the wishes of the dwellers on the Terrace in particular, and the landscape-lovers of the world in general, and should he be a reflective Burt, like the jackdaw,, to remember that hedges always afford more con- venient shelter than the best gilt-topped metal clothes-props ever constructed.
The terrible desecration of the walk ]ust inside the Park gates should convince even the Corporation of Rich- mond that the Age of Stone and the Age of Iron cannot redeem affronts offered to the A^ of Nature. Therefore, Mr. Punch trusts that, like Folly, this T>articular Burt will (metaphorically) be shot flying as he wings his way Desart-wards over the Peter- sham Meadows. N«w Instrumsnt (invented hyProfeswr Punch far the use of juvenile muHcal prodigies). — ^The Pianissimo-fortissimo. On sale nowhere at present. FOR HIS SHANDY YOLUME.
PuNOH,~^Taking the hint so wiselv given by you. I have attempted a children's edition of one of the works oi a famous ancestor, of v^ch I enclose a specimen chapter. I trust your printer will see fit to preserve the dots as they stan d in th e copy. Laurintia •***— What a chapter of diances, said my f&ther, turning himself about upon the first landing as he and.. Tort were going down stairs — ^what a long chapter of ohanoes do the events or this world lay open to us 1 Take pen and ink in huid. Tort, and calculate it fairly. I Imow no more of calculation than this balustrade, said..
Tort (striking short of it... And hitting my father a desperate blow souse on the shin- bone).
^Twas a hundred to, one, cried. I thought, quoth my father (rubbing his shin), you had known nothmg or calculations. Twas a mere chanoe, said.. Then it adds one to the chapter, nid my father. -(.!)-.; — — What a lucky diapter of chances has this turned out! For it haa saved me the trouble of writing one express, and, in truth, I have enow already upon my hands without it. Have not I pronused the world a ohi4>ter of knots P two chapters upon.
Wrong Pa chapter upon T^iiskersP a diapter upon wishes? A chapter of roses P — no, I have done that; P To sav notning of a diapter upon chapters, which I shall finish before I sleep. By my great-grandfather's whiskers, I shall never get half of 'em through this year.
Take pen and ink and calculate it fairly. Tort, said my father, and it will break down the fortunes of our house..
It might have been worse, replied.. P My father reflected half a minute— looked down — touched the middle of his forehead slightly with his finger — True, said he. THE DUELLIST'S VADE MECUM. (From the German.) Question. From the point of view of an officer and a Teuton, is duelling to be discouraged P Answer.
To an officer it is undoubtedly a necessity, although toti civilian it may be considered a superfluity. Why is it a necessity P A. Beciause the Kaiser considers the honour of the uniform of paramount importance, and that honour can (mly, under certain circumstances, be protected by the sword. And when is duelling a superfluity P A. At times when the l^peror regards the practice as immoral from a civilian point of view.
How can you reconcile the two views P A. By appesling to a Court of Honour. Will tnis course be invariably satisfactory P A. Certainly not, aa it may cause a delay derogatory to the Emperor's uniform. And this unavenged insult will merit punishment at the hvids of the head of the army P A. It will: and conseauentlv it may be desirable to act with- out waiting for the decision of the Court. But supposing an officer yields to this imnulse and calls out his opponent, what will be the probable result P A.
That be will be reported to the Emperor for disobedience. And what will be the consequence P A. He will run the risk of being cashiered, or incur some punishment {A equal gravity. In this event, will the Emperor act as head of the army or ruler of the State P A. It matters little whether one or the other, or both.
Q, Tou consider the result will be the same P A. Unquestionably; and there seems to be no way out of the difficulty. Then the officer sjnd the Teuton will find himself in an un- pleasant position at all times P A. He will discover himself impaled on the horns of a dilemma. Is there any possible solution to the problem P ' A. Llie best thing he can do is to resign his com« mission^ prior to residing permanently in London, and becoming a naturalised Englishman.
Would such a course be patriotic P A. Sses into clear, strong, picturesque narrative that has not, my Baronite assures me, been excelled by^ Walter Soott or Stevenson. Once this haps where he carries the challenge of his master to the Laird of Kerse. Again he shakes o£P the thrall of prolixity when he pictures the trial and execution of the Grey Man.
In these two passages the incidents are so dramatic, uie movement so swift, the description so picturesque, as to atone for the otherwise prevalent fault. It is a pity Browning has not lived to see the beautiful edition of ms poetical works just published. Smith, Elder have for one issue had recourse to the magic India paper of the Oxford University Press.
The result is that the seventeen volumes in which the poems originally saw the lieht are given in a book of less than eight hundred pages, legiblv printed, much lighter than an ordinary volume of its size, ana bound in royal cnmson morocco. It is an Edition de luxe without the necessity, once pictured in these pages, of the hapless owner lying prone on the floor with the mammoth book open oef ore him, that being the most convenient way of mastering its contents. In addition to this gem of the printers' and bookbinders' craft the publishers issue a complete cheap edition of the works in two volumes of ordinary library fashion. Augustine Birrell edits it, and helps the unconverted by, as he modestly puts it. Ex- plaining in the margin the meaning of ** such words as might, if left unexplained, momentarilv arrest the understanding of the reader.' There are some who are most fully in accord with Browning when he writes, I Btill Stand in the cloud, and, while it wraps My face, ought not to speak peihaps. For these the physical dharm of the India-paper edition will be a delight.
For the rest who can (or think they can) pieroe the cloud tlutt habitually wraps the poet's face, the work-a-day edition will serve. Some readers of the Life and Letters of Sir Charles HalU (Smith, Elder) will agree with my Baronite in the opinion that the most interesting chapters are those whidi contain Halle's early letters to his parents dated from Darmstadt and Paris. He was just laundied on the sea of life.
His observation was keen, his mind impressionable, out of a full heart he communed with the home circle, for whose companionship he yearned. Many of the later letters might have oeen omitted from the btdky volume, and the prosaic accounts of the visits to Australia and the Cape were better retained for family reading. The judicious reader can e£fect compression f(»' himself, after which process he will find much of interest in the simple story of a strenuous life. SOCIAL SONNETS, I.— *'Extbricbs Meet.' Reggie l'Amposte was tall and slight. He waxed his moustache and he curled his hair; And the chum who was with him from mom till night Was Freddy Fitzfaddle, so fat and fair. They both took into their heads to propose, And Reggie's selection was stout ana small.
While the pink of perfection that Frederick chose Was as tnin as a lath and was dark and tall. How the Blow fell in the higher Literary Circlee of Islington. Ibsen-Oibsen (to the MacTavish, introduced speeiaUy from the North, ioith a areat reputation). And prav, Mr. MaoTavibh, what do you consiaer the finest romance of the century P [A dead sHencey tohUe the great man reflects on Scottish whiskey.
The MacTavish (after a pause). I'm thinking.
Madam, that the finest prose wark I ever coneeedered was the True History of Jack Larkaway, which was issued in penny numbers — the same forbidden when I was leetle better tluui a wild whaup meeself. But, craving your indulgence, I was a de'il o' a lad for piratical escaupades, and hae the spell on me noo, occasionally 1 [General flight ofcUlthe younger ladies, who remember that the mistletoe has not been removed. The elders of the sex remain stationary. So does the MacTavish. Digitized by LnOOQ IC Jakuahv Itt, 1897.J PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 29 SPOETIVB SONGS. A South-country FoxhvmUr^ on a New Foreti Pony^ celebrcUes his triumph over a Midland **bull/incher,** Hs has come in his pride, just to show ns the way, From the conntry of graaaland and spinnies, And the hunter he 's on, so I heard his groom say, Cost at Melton a 'half thoa.
His seat is a model, his boots olin^ Rke wax. And his hat has a workmanlike air, And his well-fitting coat is not one of those sacks That we poor Southern countrymen wear. Note the hand that he bears on his high-mettled mare, While her antics he readily baffles, And seems ev'ry movement of spirit to share As he curbs it with lightest of snaffles. He has greeted the Ma^r, saluted the Field And, I notice, is friendl^r with you; I've no doubt that he tmnks that all present must yield To the oharm of the nouveau venu.
Here are you on the castaway peaoocky weed That has little to boast of but rank, And my sorry old nag is of true Forest breed, But a bad 'un to beat at a bank. You may laugh at the Forester coaneheaded brute. But I swear he shall diow you to-day That o'er heather and bofl^ and mid tangle and root. There is none like my lU-faFOured grey 1 Just another loW kngh and another soft lodc^ Then the melody-mongers give cry. We are off 1 He is leading us all at the brook By the firs where the soent is so high.
By the copse, where the haisels are crackling and sear, Tou endeavour to keep wiUi his pace; Gan't you see that he 's out trying to steer, And that you are not making him race P Good fox! He has turned from the flint-powdered ridge To the vale, where Hie meadows lie dank. And the hounds are now streaminit to right by the bridge, On the left I will take them inrnmk. Go on, dear old Heiigistf I give you your head, Tib wiser than mine is tiMiay. Ford it quite gently — ^the water runs red With the blood of the chum in the clay I Good hounds I they have followed the quarry right well, But the pace is too good long to last. And what has become of the Leicesten^ire Swell Who started the running so fast P And where, and oh!
Where in that Queen of the Chase Who broke with that terrible rush P — Yet your trophies another fair tribute shall grace. For Hengist and I take the brush! Arya 2 Ringa Ringa Tamil Mp3 Song Free Download. AUGU8TE EN ANGLETERBE. Notes sub l'Almanaoh (suite). — ^The chase to the pheasants commences the first, and during this month here there is the chase to the ' cubs.' For that one lifts himself of very good morning, in effect, during the night. The English love much the cold bath, and me also, be- cause I find that ne is very fortifying, thoudh it is not the habitude of my compatriots.
But durins tne ni^t a cold bath at the candle, or at the electric light — ui, no 1 At the fine commences the chase to the fox, and also the sittings of the courts in the Palace of Justice. Maitre Benard and the advocates in same time— that has the air of a fable of La Fontainb. Only, the fox goes quick and loses, the law goes slowly and wins. The twenty and one the Engli^ celebrate the battle of Trafalgar. Me I see not for what not, although some French find there some injuries against our country. Provided that one is not chauvin, in eng- lish ' jinggo,' and too hostile towards the other nations, the love of the country is a sentiment which is no part more admired than in France. — ^At this season, or more soon, the great fog» of London commence.
We have sometimes at Paris some fog, out, my faith, that it is nothing 1 Ordinarily the fog at London com- mences at the fine of Octooer, and, augmenting during the frost, continues until to the spring. Some days he is less thick, and even one can to see the sun, absolutely as one sees him through some smoked glass, without rays or brilliance. But the most piurt EVERYTHING CAN BE EXPLAINED. Cissie {who has never seen an Archdeacon be/ore), ' Dick, that old Clerotman has OCT Gaiters on. What dobs it mean whbn a Clbrotman wears Gaiters?'
IHck (who knows everything), ' Oh, it means that hb'belongs to THE Cyclist Oorps! ' of the days one sees not the sun, and ordinarily the fog is suchly — teUement — thick, that one sees neither the sky nor the earth, only the air. And the air is all simply the smoke, un vMtabU dimat d^enfer, mats froid 1 The nine tiiere is a great procession and a ^neat banquet at London for to celebrate tne day of birth of theTrinoe of Wales. Speaking of the City, I wish to make to remark my compatriots that the Lord Maire is not a great personage of the Government, as the Mairt du 'Palais of the middle age.
He is all simply the Prefect of the Thames — ^the PrSfet de la Seine of London. — The fogs continue still more thick. During all this month here the English make some vast preparations for the most great feast of all me year, when, following their habitude, they eat, and this time enormously.
Ordinarily at Christmas he makes a time unbelieveably sad. Sometimes he falls some rain, sometimes he makes some fog, sometimes there is all the two together, invariably there is much of mud and much of obscu- rity; never the sun^ never the fine time, excepted this year who comes of to finish, when the sun shone during two days, that which is all to fact exceptionaL Thus, for to amuse themselves, the unhappy Enslish are obliged of to shut themselves at them — diez eux—ofto light the lamps at midday, and of to eat just to the night.
At Christmas in England, and above all at London, the night and the day it is the same thing. Seen these habitudes so melancholy, it astonishes me that the English are not much more sad. In effect thev are sometimes narquois and gay. With a fine irony they call feast there 'The Merry Christmas.' FotZd, Mister Punch, a pleasantery of your com- patriots, worthy of to be printed in your journal so illustrious — a pleasantery with ndiich I terminate these notes, in saying to you, 'To the to see again.'
Agree, Ao., Auoubtb. Thb Quarter op London where a Frbnohman ought to bwdb.— The E.C.
On park Francis district. Boogie Digitized by 30 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, [January 16, 1897. A VICARIOUS TRANSGRESSION. PoUt, Johnny, I don't want to sek this man.
Run down and tell him I'm not at home.' Johnny, *' Hullo, Pater,— I thought you never told libs.' * Paier {solemnly). ' I don't, my boy. It 's rou that 's going to tell the lie. ^^^^ MINDING OTHEK PEOPLFS BUSINESS.
The American Senate, having postponed a resolution asking the Endish Government to pardon Mrtl Matbrick, will probably proceed to discuss the following questions: — Shall Spain continue to exist? Ought the West Front of Peterborough Cathedral to be re- erected in fiteel and concrete P Is duelling to be allowed in the German Army P What should be the law as to a ' plaoe ' for betting in Eng- land? Should the Anti-Semites in Vienna be muzzled or not P Shall there be a new street from Holborn to the Strand, and shall the houses on this street be twenty stories high, and de- signed as in Chicago P Oufl^t Gambling at Monte Carlo to be suppressed P Is kleptomania on the increase in England P Shall Russia be allowed to send convicts to Siberia P Can Hyde Park be improved by an elevated railroad from Kensington to the Marble Arch? What can be done to hurry up the French Academy, which began a dictionary one hundrea and fortjr years before the Declaration of Independence, and has not fimshed yet? Shall our spelling of 'neighbor,' 'parlor,' 'center' and ' theater ' be made compulsory in England P.. How does the treaty of peace between Italy and Abyssmia conform to the Monroe Doctrine P Are the depots and cars of the British raihroads satisfactory P Should the Chinese be compelled to dress in black coats and tall hats like respectable American Citizens P Shall the Behring Sea Fisheries award be paid?, It is expected that the last resolution will be indefimtely post- poned; it is even thought that it will never be proposed. CAVIAEB TO THE GENERAL.
Salvationist Booth, Mr.
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